IPPN

Published: 22 September 2022

The unrealistic expectations that others in the school community may have of the school leader can very often put so much pressure on the leader to live up to the perfect image of being responsible for solving every issue or problem. Managing those expectations is the focus this week. We live in a relational world, which can sometimes be wonderful but also messy at other times. Examining and re-framing expectations does not mean lowering standards or not striving to be the best leaders we can be. It does mean letting go of unnecessary pressure.

Much of the stress experienced by our school leaders comes not from the delivery of the curriculum and managing the teaching and learning, but from interpersonal conflicts. The time, the anxiety, the frustration and sometimes the breakdown in physical and emotional health dealing with multiple conflicts, means that the main purpose of a school in terms of teaching and learning does get the optimal focus.

• A parent comes to the school leader, often on Friday afternoon, to complain that their child is being bullied and the school is doing nothing about it. If you do not stop this, then the parents will remove the child from the school.
• A staff member approaches the newly appointed school leader saying that the atmosphere in the school is toxic. What are you going to do about it? (Underlying implication- toxic atmosphere since you arrived).
• A member of the Board of Management calls to the office to inform you that parents have come to him complaining about the 4th class teacher regarding the way he speaks to the children.
• A staff member is constantly arriving late into school. Despite having addressed timekeeping with her on a number of occasions, it continues to happen. She is threatening to take a grievance procedure against you for harassment.
• Parents involved in a custody battle for their children had an altercation in the school-yard at collection time yesterday, witnessed by many of the children leaving school.
• The Parents' Association want to meet with you, as they are unhappy with the way Gaeilge is taught in some classes.
  

These are just some of the issues replicated in schools all over the country. The outcomes and the manner in which these scenarios are addressed depend largely on how the school leader manages the communication, so that the other party clearly understands what they can expect from the school leader. It is essential that this message be clearly communicated. You cannot control what others think about you but you can choose how you talk about it. A person has a right to have their issue addressed. However, they have a responsibility to be part of the solution. If you believe that you have to solved all problems coming to you, then of course the problem is yours. You are taking all responsibility for the problem on yourself. However, if you were to believe that you will do everything to support and guide the other party in arriving at a resolution and at the same time not make the problem your sole responsibility, think how much more clearly you will be in a position to see the wood from the trees. Unless you make this clear from the start, they will assume that you have now accepted this situation as being your responsibility to solve. Then, if this does not work out as they expect, the conflict is bound to escalate. Managing the expectations of others can help to build healthy relationships. The most important element in managing expectations is to be realistic. Under promise. Over deliver. Be clear about what action each will take to make progress. Be mindful of the language used – “We are in this together”. “How can we support each other?” “Have we done everything we possibly can do?” “Is there anything else we can do or need to do?” Keep talking. Keep evaluating. We will make mistakes, but we will learn from them and move on.