IPPN

Published: 04 December 2008

Source : Irish Independent

By e GRADE
Wednesday December 03 2008

Golden rule number two for teachers is 'never take up residence where you teach'.

Rule number one is 'never think about any of your pupils or colleagues at the weekend' and this is facilitated by number two.

Years ago I was unfortunate enough to have to rent a flat nearby and would regularly have a run-in with one of the kids or a colleague, resulting in my spending the entire weekend brooding over what they had said and what I should have said back to them.

One such time on a Friday afternoon I was flabbergasted as the principal stormed into my classroom, shouting at me at the top of his voice about how he was finding it impossible to work with the sound of kids talking at the top of their voices next door to him.

Could I not stop them from talking or take them somewhere else? he snapped.

He then gave me a withering look that clearly held the meaning that he would pay me back for this some time and slammed the door behind him.

How I tossed and turned at night that whole weekend and sure enough the following Monday there was a note in my pigeon hole, not actually put there by number one, of course, but by the deputy principal, that overworked but still overpaid lackey, summoning me to number one's office for a dressing down.

The principal wouldn't even admit to knowing that we have pigeon holes; why keep a dog and bark yourself?

The dressing down consisted of a rapid fire question and answer session: Who were those kids?

They were fifth years.

What were you doing with them?

I was teaching them my subject.

Do you have to do it next to my office?

Well, with respect that's where I was timetabled for.

He stared at me with a look that seemed to ask me why I'm hanging around with people half my age.

I promised to keep them quiet in the future (i.e. show them a DVD every Friday afternoon or move to a different room), having received the message loud and clear that no one should disturb the principal for anything less than a TD or a major Hollywood celebrity.

It's only a rare moment when a teacher sees one of their pupils outside of school hours and the blood doesn't chill.

They've shouted at me from across a busy main street, they've walked past me in packs pretending not to see me and just when I think I'm safely away they burst out laughing as soon as my back is turned.

I've seen them with their families at my own kids' communions, pointing at me in the church, whispering and sniggering.

The only place I'm safe is when they serve me in shops where they're usually under the watchful eye of the owner, so they just treat me like everyone else in retail does: surly and resentful.

- e GRADE